The postcard might be from Nottingham but this 5-piece band consists of Buckinghamshire gents. Their music is soft and alluring and makes me proud of my hometown talent but to really put these boys to the test I left my mum in charge…
Friday 17th January. I chaperoned my daughter into the cavernous depths of Camden, where she insisted a “sick” band was playing. Naturally, I hoped whatever infections they harboured were not contagious. Upon arrival, my daughter identified the quintet of nauseated boys and thus I was rather surprised to see five boisterous, healthy looking chaps. Not a sickly pallor in sight. I nevertheless approached with caution – arming myself with cotton buds from my trusty travel pack of necessities.
Once the formalities of introductions had been acquitted I inspected their general hygiene, handing them each the white tip of a cotton bud with which they could clean out their ears. Felix (drums) and Will (guitar) appeared most grateful to be handed these traditional tools of cleanliness: one wouldn’t want to perform to a crowd with impaired hearing. I bestowed a few extra buds upon them to share with their band mates, backstage, and when asked whom they thought would have the waxiest orifice they guffawed and agreed, “Joe, the lead singer”.
As the floor began to fill with uncouth youths, in crop tops and terribly scruffy attire, I retired to the balcony for the main performance. I observed the 6-song set alongside the bass player’s excited sister and proud mother, both of which punctuated the songs with screams of delight and praise. It rather felt like a sports day – where families loose all sobrieties to the thralls of yobbish chanting – and the ardent support this young band was amounting from their friends, family, and sea of enthusiastic youngsters was quite remarkable.
As the folky whispers of the final song dimmed into silence, signifying the closing curtain, I startled myself in the wave of disappointment that rushed through me. I had grown quite fond of those melodic harmonies. Alas, there was work to be done and I wandered off in order to ask the essential questions any self-respecting mother would need to know.
My first question was, “what time do you go to bed?” And I’m glad to report that Joe and Henry have received respectable upbringings by their Mothers. They proudly announced their motto, “an hour of sleep before midnight, is worth two after.” The others would be wise to take a leaf out of their book.
Instinctively, I questioned their eating habits and hoped answers of healthy diets would flood my ears. I was not so privileged, revealing that only Tom (bass) eats his greens; immediately banishing the others to the naughty step.
Much to my dismay all members shamefully admitted to biting their nails, however Henry provided a satisfying excuse “If I don’t bite them right down in the studio, you’ll hear them clicking on the keys.”
My third question “do you have a lucky mascot?” produced some endearing responses as Joe clung to his St.Christopher and St.Cecilia necklace. Will’s lucky beanie was in tow and Henry’s stone remained in his pocket. I was elated to hear that a little origami bear, handcrafted by Tom’s mother, was well cherished. Felix possessed no such mascot, but judging from his supposedly infamous #prayforfelix hashtag, he ought to find himself one briskly.
My most demanding, and undoubtedly pivotal query posed the question “if you wanted to impress a woman, where would you take her?” the boys quivered with unease at this momentous question before them. Flustered Felix exclaimed “Paris!” and Joe opted for an equally grand gesture “I’d take her to a Museum or to Dublin, where I took my current girlfriend on our first date”. Henry settled for a romantic picnic in summer and Tom a modest trip to the Rex cinema in Berkhamstead. However, clueless Will jokingly suggested “Take her to one of our gigs?” afterwards confessing his hopeless lack of charm.
To summarise, these were no potty-mouthed youths. So impressed was I with their pressed shirts, eloquent lyrics and respectful address for a miscellaneous mother in the overcrowded depths of KOKO, that I would wholeheartedly recommend these young men to any mother in search of a gentleman caller for their daughters.
Fran Welch
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