Are We A Bus? The Inside Story Of Life On The Road, Part 14

Now, I’m sure that there are rules about getting it on when everyone else is head-to-toe, bunk-to-bunk, above, and beneath you. But that minor detail doesn’t seem to enter my head or his. We mess around for a little bit in the lounge, and then I decide that I should probably head to my bunk. If I’m being truthful, I’m partially hoping to stop this nonsense and partially hoping that he will follow.


I kick off my Vans and get into my bunk, shimmying out of my jeans on the way.  I pull down the straps of my bra (I don’t like to sleep in them anyway as its extremely uncomfortable – all those pointy bits!), pull it down to my waist and twist it around to undo the clasp. I turn my head and see Robin getting undressed as well. I normally sleep in my pants and whatever top I’m wearing anyway, because then if I need the loo I can just pull my jeans back on and hey presto, I’m decent.

Anyway, I can hear him giggling as we sway with the bus, trundling down the motorway. I climb in my bunk and as I‘m getting my phone out of my bag to set my alarm, his head pops through the curtains and I feel him kissing my back. Shivers immediately run up and down my spine and I sense that all too familiar tingle that tells me I’m probably not going to sleep anytime soon. I scoot across and he crawls in beside me. This is going to be a bus journey to remember, wha-hey!


We pull the curtains shut. I feel very naughty and ridiculously excited. I turn around and start to kiss his neck, and we find each other’s mouths in the dark. His hands explore my hips and then they travel up my spine. I shiver all over again and pull him closer. We are completely intertwined and it occurs to me exactly how tardis-like my bunk has become. Get in!

I move my free hand down his chest and trace my finger over the top of his jeans, cheekily his jeans appear to be unbuttoned. I hastily unzip them and soon I can’t believe what I’m doing. I’m learning a new trick, and I like it. There’s no way I’m stopping now.

I want to get at him now, so I start to pull down his jeans and he stops to help me. He quickly pulls them down but seems to be leaving his boxers on so I start to tug them down, just enough to get at him. He clamours on top — I have to say it’s not the most romantic moment I’ve ever experienced — he nearly falls out from the bunk through the curtain, and I have to grab his arm to save him. Then my arm gets stuck underneath him. Where this arm has come from all of sudden, I have no idea…I can’t seem to find a comfortable place to put it! He comes to kiss me and we get our rhythm back and begin to make out in earnest. We roll over; my head is flung back into the pillow and I briefly think, this is madness, but my musings are cut short when I feel his tongue tickle me Oh, lordy.


I keep getting fleeting images of everyone else in their bunks and make a flickering mental note to focus on being quiet. And then I moan. It’s instinctive! I feel so good, and so I pull him to the side and bring his shoulders to mine so I can kiss him. This is a flipping (incredible) nightmare. How am I supposed to stay quiet? I’m sure people must be able to hear and it’s getting so hot in here that we’re both sweating. A lot.

Now, he starts bloody well groaning, and I have to stop to quiet him.

“Oi, shush! People will hear.”

“I don’t care.”

“Well I do, so you better pack it in, now.”

“You better pack that in right now,” I say, trying to shush him some more but actually being a bit louder than he is myself.

Shortly after, Robin moves to lie beside me. It dawns on me that we’re dripping with sweat. It’s so easy to be noisier than you think, because your ego essentially leaves you to do its own thing. Suddenly I feel really nervous. I hug him tightly whilst trying to see if I can hear people snoring, or moving, or anything at all.

“Do you think anyone heard us?”

Someone coughs in another bunk. I freeze.

“I reckon we’ll be all right,” he says, as he scoops me up in his arms and tries to calm me down. I’m not so sure, but we just lie there in silence and spoon.

After a few minutes, I start to feel claustrophobic. The sexual tension is gone, I’m uncomfortably hot, and now I’m left with a sweaty, drunken roadie in my bunk that I’m not really sure I want to stay the night. Suddenly, there appears to be a whole lot less room.


“It’s probably a good idea if you get back in your own bunk now, because I need the loo and you know, we shouldn’t probably fall asleep together as your absence will be really conspicuous when the others get up first thing.” He kisses me good night and crawls out to head back to his own bunk.

I lie there, heady but also slightly worried that people might have heard our shenanigans. Oh well, what’s done is done! I really do need the toilet but as I lie there, grinning, I drift off to sleep.

My blog follows the escapades of me, Bee, rock 'n' roll adventurer and swag girl as I travel the world assisting Tour Managers and selling merchandise for various bands. My fellow travellers include the band, the crew, the fans and various industry types. It lifts the lid on the myths surrounding the music biz and gives you a glimpse into that magical, filthy world. This makes what the kids in Skins get up to merely aspirational! My crew is older, but comically we're not yet wiser, and all of Europe is our playground. Are We a Bus?