Are We A Bus? The inside story of life on the road. Part 9

An alternative version of the tour manager role is the Production Manager. These are the  guys (or gals, to be politically correct, although they’re still in the minority), who really hold the whole tour together once it’s been advanced and you’re on the road. They travel with the crew and are the first to arrive at venues and hotels to make sure that everything’s as it should be. They liaise with the local promoters, venue managers and stage managers to get the trucks unloaded, and are the first port of call if any crewmembers are missing anything on the production rider — if they can’t sort it out themselves. Whilst the Tour Managers are babysitting the bands through press, meet-and-greets with fans and competition winners, hangovers, and all the time making sure no one goes A.W.O.L. (in all fairness the latter not always the easiest of jobs), the Production Managers are making sure the show goes on from an equipment and stage set up point of view.

blog 9 -1 small

They have a long day. They invariably go through a blow-by-blow post-mortem after each gig — usually on the bus, at night — with the more earnest of the crew. I appreciate that some discussion may be needed, as quite often you have to put in some elbow grease to keep the touring machine well-oiled. But after important decisions have been made and emails have been sent, and phone calls planned to insure that future gigs go off smoothly, I’m of the mind that that should be it. But not for some crew. Oh no, leaving discussion to a short and concise chat where resolutions are found and decisions are made is not enough. They have to discuss it again and again until their lids are heavy and they have bored everyone else to the point that they relocate to the kitchen or another lounge on the bus; or worse, driven the crew to head straight off to bed. Only the truly hardcore can sit through this, but as a rule, at least a few of them keep at it ’til the wee hours. Bless ‘em, really. I suppose they get the gigs because they care so much, right? Or am I just being generous? Ha!

blog 9 -3 small

These TMs and PMs generally have assistants. This is where I fit in. We assistants are quite often young females.  Like me, they may come from an office background where they have a good understanding of Word, formatting documents, working with Excel spreadsheets, and dealing with people in person and on the phone. We’re good at communicating with people – and that’s key, believe me — whether it be the Runners and local Promoters to make sure that the crew get all their daily shopping lists met (guitar strings, carpet for drum risers, cigarettes, etc.), or simply making sure whatever needs to be told to the TMs and PMs gets said. We also make sure that the dressing rooms are set up properly, and we spend a decent chunk of time catering to the whims of the band and their friends and families. I actually quite like looking after the wives and girlfriends. They’re generally really nice and if there’s a problem, you can bet that nine times out of ten it’s the lead singer’s wife at the bottom of it! I’m definitely one who goes out of my way to make sure they’re catered for, even if they don’t ask to be, as I know that the nice ones are sometimes too nice and naive to ask for things they want.  Plus, I know from personal experience as one myself that it can be intimidating to ask for things you might want, or even need, if it’s as something as simple as getting some t-shirts for the kids or a drink during the gig when the band’s dressing rooms are locked.

blog 9-2 small

Sometimes, I’ll take them on the crew bus (or the band bus if I have a key) and mix them something from our bus stock, as this is only stuff we take at the end of each night from the dressing rooms anyway, and it’s quite often a nice break from chatting to all the liggers at the gigs. We can sit down and have a little chat for twenty minutes and enjoy a quick smoke on the bus, as opposed to standing outside in the cold. After all, their fella’s are paying for it all and they have as much right to it as we do. It seems nuts that they should try and venture out there, into the wilderness of the crowd, only to pay over-inflated prices at the bar with all the queues and drunken fans who, at that point, have all crushed themselves together at the front into an impenetrable wall of flesh and sweat. Even if you manage to get through to the bar easily enough, you have to squeeze back through to the front. Drunken groupies and the like tend to get very territorial of their standing room, thinking that everyone’s on a mission  to push through to the mosh pit or something! I generally only ever extend this service to the ladies during the gigs though, as the crew can also be quite protective about their space. After all, the bus is our home on the road, the lounge our recreational space. Our safe haven away from the gig, if you will. And this is to be respected. At all times.

You are able to have your people on some tour buses — as in, guests that stick around for a few hours at a show but who then bugger off home. Or you can have a special someone or friend come to hang out; you can even kidnap them and have them stay on for a day or two, but for that kind of thing you have to ask. Even if it’s a given that a particular crew would be cool about it, asking out of consideration is one of the first and foremost rules of touring. It’s a bit like inviting a random drunk back from the pub to kip at the end of your bed at home, because quite frankly, you knowing they’re a trusted old friend doesn’t mean anyone else even knows who they are. It’s only polite to ask first! Of course, sometimes it’s a complete no-no, but you’ll generally know that right away. Certainly, when you’re just working with someone for one tour, or if your friend is from outside the UK or something, and you’re the guest crewmember as it is!

Ah, next we come to the backline techs. From my personal adventures, it would appear that I’m a bit of an accidental backline groupie! Hey — when you spend nine to ten months a year touring with blokes, moving cities and countries each day with them the only constant males in your life, well…ahem, some things are just inevitable.

Blog 9-4 small

 

Bee
My blog follows the escapades of me, Bee, rock 'n' roll adventurer and swag girl as I travel the world assisting Tour Managers and selling merchandise for various bands. My fellow travellers include the band, the crew, the fans and various industry types. It lifts the lid on the myths surrounding the music biz and gives you a glimpse into that magical, filthy world. This makes what the kids in Skins get up to merely aspirational! My crew is older, but comically we're not yet wiser, and all of Europe is our playground. Are We a Bus?