Cover my eyes!!! The worst album covers EVER

In case you missed it earlier this week Prince announced the release of a brand new single titled ‘Breakfast Can Wait’ and the artwork is a corker! You can listen to it and check out the cover for yourselves here.

Announced through the singer’s twitter account (@3rdeyegirl), the single’s cover features American comedian Dave Chappelle dressed as Prince and while it may have got a chuckle round Paisley Park, it’s had us rolling on the floor.

In honour of the Purple One’s ridiculousness, we’ve put together a selection of some of the worst record sleeves ever for your enjoyment.

The following contains images of people in underwear, awful haircuts and a man riding a giant rat. You have been warned.

Nirvana – Nevermind

1

There’s no denying this one of the most important albums ever made but there’s also no getting past the ham-fisted and moronic message of its cover. We’re slaves to money from birth, you see? Get it? GET IT?!? Good. Plus, no one wants to see baby todger every time they put on a record.

Hard-Fi – ‘Once Upon a Time in the West’

2

Derided at the time of its release, Hard-Fi decided to forgo any artwork for their second outing, instead opting for the kind of signage you’d find on a construction site in protest. They could have saved us all a bit of earache and put ‘No Entry’ instead.

Kanye West – ‘Yeezus’

3

Probably still a bit miffed at having to censor his chosen artwork for previous album ‘My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy’, West opted to style ‘Yeezus’ after a homemade burner CD. It could be a stinging comment on music piracy or he just couldn’t be bothered to come up with anything, either way it’s a crap cover.

Scorpions – ‘Lovedrive’

4

German rockers Scorpions have a discography full of disturbingly hilarious album covers but 1979’s ‘Lovedrive’ really takes the biscuit. The expressionless faces of the models alone make us want to ask what the hell is going on here but we really don’t think we want to know…

Beck – ‘The Information’

5

For this 2006 record, Beck thought it would be cool to let fans customize their own cover with stickers included with the album’s purchase. Unfortunately the UK Charts Company disagreed and deemed it ineligible for the charts. Shame, we only bought it for the stickers and they were rubbish too, hence its place on this list.

Swamp Dogg – ‘Rat On!’

6

Regrettably at the time of writing we are unable to confirm any relation between 1970s soul artist Jerry Edwards Jr., a.k.a. Swamp Dogg, and Calvin Broadus a.k.a. Snoop Dogg. But at least we now know why the latter became Snoop Lion: to escape any further connection to this God-awful sleeve.

Björk – ‘Volta’

7

Did you know that following 2004’s ‘Medúlla’, Björk took some time away from music to start a second career as a children’s party entertainer? Of course that isn’t true but how else can we explain this macaw-meets-candied-apple-monster number from 2007’s ‘Volta’? Suppose it’s still a step up from the swan dress…

Manowar – ‘Anthology’

8

New York heavy metal group Manowar’s songs may be known for including themes derived from the fantasy and swords and sorcery genres but no one could have expected them to don He-Man-style loincloths on the cover to their ‘Anthology’ record. They may look ridiculous but we can tell you with some authority that ‘Sign of the Hammer’ is an absolute banger. (It’s not.)

Village People – ‘Renaissance’

9

In 1981, Village People left their disco behind them with their ‘Renaissance’ record. They also ditched the construction worker and policeman costumes in favour of looking like matadors who’ve stumbled into a Misfits reunion. You don’t see that one at many fancy dress parties.

The Ministers Quartet – ‘Let Me Touch Him’

10

At the risk of sounding controversial, we wouldn’t.

Dick Black and his Band – ‘A Taste of Dick Black’

11

Sometimes all you need is a good title. On the plus side, this could have been worse. Not much worse, mind…

The Strokes – ‘Angles’

12

We’d have loved to have been there when The Strokes presented this to their label if only to be able to have said “Is this it?” This geometric monstrosity adorned the cover of the New Yorkers’ big comeback album in 2011, easily the most disappointing entry in their catalogue.

Millie Jackson – ‘Back to the S**t!’

13

Millie Jackson, ladies and gentlemen, from such R&B hits as ‘It Hurts so Good’ and ‘(If Loving You is Wrong) I Don’t Want to Be Right’ pictured here pioneering the anguished toilet selfie before Tumblr was even invented. An innovator in her time, we’re sure you’ll all agree.

Kevin Rowland – ‘My Beauty’

14

And last but not least, we have Kevin Rowland. What can we say about this cover that hasn’t already been said? Rowland, of Dexys Midnight Runners fame, released his second solo effort ‘My Beauty’ in 1999. It contained re-workings of his favourite songs, or at least that’s what we’re told because no one bought it. Can’t imagine why…

Elliott Homer

@ERHomer

Elliott Homer
Elliott Homer is an undisputed master of understatement, a black belt holder in mixed metaphors and long-time deserving of some such award for length of time spent chatting rubbish about music down the pub. Studies show prolonged exposure to his scribblings can cause migraines, hysterical pregnancy, night terrors and/or acne, yet seldom encourages readers to agree with the author, in fact quite the reverse, much to his eternal frustration.